Lost
by Curious Rebel
Summary: <html><head></head>When your safety net disappears, how far do you fall?</html>
1. Ch 1 - Cries United

**Hi! Welcome to my new story, Lost. I hope you enjoy. **

**WARNING: This is seriously sad. **

Lost - Chapter 1. Cries United

_Cal's P.O.V_

"Where's Ethan?" I ask as Dixie and Tamzin come through the door, faces plastered with sad expressions, they shake their heads.

"Cal..." Dixie says softly. I panic.

"Where is he?" I order, my voice raised. They shake their heads again,"Tell me!" I'm shouting now and Robyn and Rita are trying to calm me down.

"Cal there was nothing we could do..." Tamzin says, tears in her eyes. Robyn and Rita try to grab my arms but I move backwards.

"Go and get him! Please!" I shriek, frustrated tears falling.

"Cal - " Rita starts but I cut her off;

"No. I can't lose him! You have to go and get him! Please!"

"It's OK, Cal." Robyn says. She and Rita take hold of me and wrap their arms around my waist. Max and Lofty come and put their arms round me too.

"Nooooooo," I sob, desperate to have my baby brother back. Dixie and Tamzin come and join to the group hug. I sob and sob and sob into - what I think is - Max's shoulder. My tears are sticky and uncomfortable aginst my cheeks and are running down my neck into the collar of my shirt, but I can't stop them from flowing. Everyone else begins to cry with me. As Tess begins to cry too she comes and joins our little cluster.

"Ethan!" I wail weakly, "Come back, please come back!" Charlie, Noel, Louise and Mac come and join us - in tears and in embrace."Ethan! Please! Please go and get him, please! Please go and get him!" I whimper, distressed. Dixie gives a sad little sob,

"We can't Cal, I wish we could, but we can't." Dixie explains, her voice soft and light as a feather. This may have been a tactic to calm me, but it makes me feel more dejected then ever.

"Please! You have to! He's my little brother! My baby brother! He's all I have left! I NEED him!" I sob, desperate for Ethan to walk in laughing, telling me this is just some sick practical joke. Ethan doesn't walk in. No-one starts laughing. It's not a joke. He's gone. I sob harder at this. Ash comes and hugs us too, tears trickling down his cheeks. To my surprise Connie and Lily come and join the group hug, they aren't sobbing but silent tears fall. We all cry as one big unit. I wish Ethan was snuggled up in my arms sobbing with us, all of us crying about something else. But he isn't in my arms, we aren't crying over something else, we're crying over the death of Dr. Ethan Hardy.

**Did you enjoy? If you did don't worry this ISN'T a one-shot, there will be more! See you next time on Lost...**


	2. Ch 2 - What Now?

**Hey I was bored so I decided to update this.**

Chapter. 2 - What now?

That night we all sit in the pub, drinking away our sorrows. Well. Sort of. We managed to keep eachother from getting drunk. We're all there - with the exception of Connie and Lily. The world feels so sullen and empty now. I don't know what to do. It might have made me feel better if a drunk man was shouting, or football supporters were arguing, but they weren't, it seemed as if the whole world had felt the drag of Ethan's death. We all stay silent for what feels like an eternity, and soon it starts to feel as if I'm going crazy,

"What now?" I ask, my voice just a rasp. Everyone looks at me questioningly, "What do I now? My brain won't work. I don't know what to do next. I don't want to leave Holby, no matter how painful it might be. Most of my best memories of Ethan are here. I don't want to forget them."

We all shift in our seats. We think. But none of us seem to know what to do. Tears begin to fall down my face again. What do I do? Ethan usually knows what to do, but he can't ever tell me what I should do ever again.

"What are you going to do about the funeral?" Tess asks. Great. That was something I was hoping not to bring into this conversation.

"I don't know, I guess I don't really have any family left now. I don't know who to invite, except you guys of course." I say, uncomfortably. After a moment of silence Max jumps from his seat raising his beer,

"To Ethan!" He shouts, in celebration of my brother's life. The rest of us follow suit and raise our drinks,

"To Ethan!" We echo. By the time we finish those drinks we decide it's time to go home. Well, more like they tell me we should go home. So we do.

I close my flat door behind me. Pushing my back aginst the door I slide to the floor. I sit in silence for a moment, then I can't help it I begin to cry. Silently at first, then in small gasps. Then suddenly it hits me like a train, I'm never going to see my baby brother, ever again. Sobbing loudly, I close my eyes, why couldn't I have just taken out that little time to tell my brother the truth? Why couldn't I ever bring my self to do something so simple? Why didn't I do that one little thing that could've changed everything?

Why couldn't I have simply told my brother that I loved him?

**Did you like? Review please! See you next time on Lost...**


	3. Ch 3 - Memories

**Finally got this done! Sorry it took so long. Anyway, shall we? Chapter 3 of Lost...**

I stay put for at least ten minutes, crying sadly. Wiping my eyes I look up and manage to look at something that almost sets me off crying again: a picture of me and Ethan a couple of months ago. I'm not entirely sure why that picture was taken but I'm glad it was. We're both smiling, an arm around the others neck. I loved that photo so much that I got it printed out and framed. Now it hangs on my wall, a perfect reminder that we really did love eachother. That's when I remember something, a book. A photo book. I haven't looked at it for years. I think for a moment, trying to recall where it is. Then I remember it's under my bed. I stand up, wearily and go to get it.

A little while later I'm sat on my bed, looking at the faded cover. It wasn't anything special, well the way it looked wasn't. I open it, ready for all the memories that will make it seem all the more tragic. I can't help but laugh at the first one, it's of me and Ethan when we were younger - me about 12 and Ethan 11 - we're hunched over, laughing, one arm clutching our stomachs, the other clutching eachother. The next one is of me and Ethan up in a tree, me pulling Ethan up onto the branch that I'm on, with our parents stood at the base of the tree, mum looking worried, dad beaming at the fact that HIS sons were climbing a tree. Then there's one of us at a christmas party, me and Ethan are both laughing, but Ethan's face is covered in cake, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

There were countless others but the two tucked in the back are the most heart-breakingly wonderful. The first is of the entire team, all of us in one big cluster, smiling. The second one is of the two of us, arms round eachother - the same way as the one hung in my hallway - but in this one we're in London, on a team building trip that we had all been sent on. I look at Ethan's charming smile and tears fall from my eyes. Laying down and letting my mind run, I must have cried for at least twenty minutes.

"Oh, god Ethan. I miss you so much." I say, my eyes squeezed shut.

"You make it sound such a tragedy, Caleb." That voice. No it can't be. I sit up, opening my eyes. There stood in front of me is none other than, Ethan. For some reason it doesn't feel weird at all. I lay back down,

"I was wondering when I was going to start going crazy." I joke, closing my eyes. Ethan chuckles, making me smile sadly - I had already been starting to miss that laugh. I sit up again after a minute or so.

"What do you mean 'make it seem like a tragedy'? It IS a tragedy." I ask, softly. He shrugs. We look at each other for a moment and tears spring into my eyes. He puts his arms round me, pulling me close. I cry and cry, and soon he starts too. I begin to feel drousy and I know that I have to speak to him,

"Ethan, I have to talk to you," I say, desperate for some advice.

"No. You need to rest." Ethan says, pushing me gently down to the bed.

"But - "

"Shh, Cal. Go to sleep." He orders as he runs his fingers through my hair, lulling me to sleep.

I wake up to my house phone ringing and my alarm going, full blast. I groan as I pull myself off of the bed.

**Is that classed as a cliff hanger? I don't know... Anyway hope you enjoyed!**

**Review please! It really helps.**

**P.S. All those other Cal/Ethan authors out there, I know there aren't many off us, but that just makes even more of a reason to keep on writing!**


	4. Ch 4 - Phone Call

**I'm back! Sorry about the cliffhanger (was it a cliffhanger?) but here we go chapter 4 of Lost...**

I wake up to my house phone ringing and my alarm going, full blast. I groan as I pull myself off of the bed. I walk to the phone, wrapping a blanket round myself (even though I'm still fully clothed). I look at the phone for a second before picking it up.

"Hello?"

Expecting it to be Connie, telling me to take a few days off, I'm suprised when a strange - but familiar - voice answers me,

"Cal! Kiddo! How are you? And that brother of yours?" Ethan seemed very much an after thought. I sigh rolling my head on my neck.

"Hi, Uncle Stan." I say. I hate my uncle and with good reason too; He belittles Ethan, he makes the most idiotic jokes at the most inapproriate times and he HATES doctors.

"Well..." I begin, not really wanting to tell him about my brother's - his nephew's - death.

"Well, what? Come on, I haven't got all day kiddo." I wrinkle my nose, " If it's something to do with that brother of yours then it can't be all that important."

"Can't be all that important? Why isn't it important if it's to do with Ethan?" I practically whisper.

"Well, you know your brother. He was never one for adventure. He's a bit wimpish if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you!" I explode, silencing him," Would it be important if I told you that Ethan, YOUR nephew, was attacked yesterday whilst saving someone's life?!" Shocked, my hand flies over my mouth.

"Oh, so he's in the hospital then? How is he?" Stan asks, he doesn't seem all that bothered. I open my mouth but nothing will come out.

"Hello?"

"No, he's not in the hospital. He died before they could even get him in the ambulance." I manage, a tear trickling down my cheek.

"Oh, well then. I guess we're coming down for the funeral?" He says, but it wasn't a question. My mouth opens and closes like a goldfish, but I can't come up with a response that wouldn't seem rude.

"We'll be there by this afternoon." He hangs up. Great. Now I have him to deal with. And my three cousins, Will, Lucy and Bruce.

**Sorry, I know it's short but there should be another chapter coming really soon...**

**-Cale xx**


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